Posted by: jspiegel | June 10, 2009

#39: Doing Nothing (Literally!)

nothingThere comes a time in the existence of every unemployed person where the act of doing something will simply become repetitive and unexciting.  The thought of engaging in some menial type of social activity, or participating  in some form of undertaking, venture, or task will no longer be found appealing.  Should you find yourself in this quandary, your first instinct will be to get up off your couch and force yourself into believing that some time of endeavor or interest is a healthy pursuit.

Do not let the trappings of nothingness frighten you.  Instead, embrace it.

Most people, unemployed or otherwise, will lead you to believe that they have many days in which they in fact, do nothing.  It’s one thing to make this bold declaration, and yet another to actually accomplish (or maybe not accomplish) it.  For an employed person, making the statement that they “did nothing at work today” is completely false and it is perfectly appropriate for you to amend their outrageous claims by suggesting they say they “spent the work day online shopping,” or that they “spent the work day on Facebook and Twitter,” or that they “spent the work day looking at pornography”.  All of these, while certainly not condusive to productivity, are still doing something.  Only those who are unemployed truly have the opportunity to literally, do nothing.

Even being unemployed, to do nothing all day is no easy feat, but is one that will eventually become more and more realistic.  As your days of joblessness go on, normal activities of watching endless television, consuming unecessary carbs, and spending hours trolling the internet will no longer thrill you in the same way as they did during your infant stages of unemployment.  Soon, your drive, motivation and will to do anything remotely productive will dwindle.  Only in this stage of mental frailty will the true act of nothingness be within your grasp.  Do not attempt to fight in.  Lay in bed while staring up at the ceiling.  Resist the urge to turn on the television as this might trap you into the activity of endless daytime soap operas.

With enough careful discipline, practice, and lack of a will to live, your day will be complete and when your significant other asks you “So what did you all day?” you can look at him or her and proudly proclaim, “Nothing!  So, what’s for dinner?”


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