Posted by: jspiegel | June 1, 2009

#32: Intramural Leagues

dodgeballBeing unemployed, you will spend unfathomable amounts of time in your home.  As your days and weeks of existing outside the peripheral vision of society continue, it will soon be necessary for you to venture into world that extends beyond your couch and television, if for no other reason then to retain your basic and primitive social skills.  Thankfully, many urban areas offer organized and slightly competitive activities that can offer the perfect solution to your social lethargism.

At first, joining an intramural team might seem to be something that is ‘out of your league’.  Being unemployed, it is certainly a challenge to put yourself out there on the same playing field as people with goals, ambitions, and 401Ks.   Thankfully, intramurals is an activity that has a high level of participation from all walks of life and acceptance is their Modus operandi.  Your teammates do not care about your level of economic success and will certainly not fault you for your inability to hold a steady job (at least not to your face).

For you, your chief concern should be to follow the rules of social ettiquete that have been established in the world on intramurals.  Unless you are new to unemployment, and the idea of working out is one that still holds appeal, chances are you have experienced a significant amount of weight gain and have grown indifferent to the crevace in the couch that has uncannily molded itself to the shape of your fat ass.  Such apathy should be stifiled as you attempt to assuage your Mother’s growing concerns of inactivity.  Your intramural counterparts will be looking to you as someone who is ready and willing to participate and have fun while doing so.  Most importantly, they will be viewing you as an equal.  This kind of reverence may seem daunting at first but you should welcome these moments of parity, even if they only occur for ninety minutes every day, and put forth your best effort that will gain you the respect and adoration of your peers.

Consequently, if you are still within the realm of being newly unemployed, odds are you may still ‘care about life’ and have that pesky competitive spirit still creeping around inside of you.  It is equally as important for you to purge this ‘go-get-em’ attitude as quickly as Mary Kate Olsen let go of last night’s dinner.  Your teammates will be looking for a laid-back and enjoyable environment free of pressures and stresses that they no doubt have during their work week.  Of course it will be tempting to keep the flames of competition ignited.  After all, they do give you a reminder of what it was like to have drive and aspiration.  However, the longer you can keep those now useless intangibles at bay, the more you will be able to fit in with your teammates.  Just remember that they are looking for the same reprieve that you now experience every day.  Don’t rub their noses in it.

Hopefully, at the end of the day, your time on the intramural field will leave you with some new friends, some fond memories, and only a few strained muscles.  Remember, when your heart starts beating at a rapid pace and you become short with breath, that’s just from you pushing yourself physically.  You’re not having a heart attack…

…unless you’ve been unemployed for awhile.  Then maybe you are.

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