Posted by: jspiegel | April 28, 2009

#17: Bono’s Charities

Traditionally, being unemployed allows you more time to perform all of those altruistic feats you have always talked about, but never had time to follow through with.  Charity and volunteer work primarily come to mind.  But, what charity?  What not-for-profit, selfess, dirty hippie organization should you, the jobless, devote your limitless pool of time to?

How about one of Bono’s?

Bono is a singer.  His day job involves being the front man for a small, indie-rock band called U2.  He does, however, also have a reputation for being quite overzealous in charity work, his fight for global causes, and his vision for peace, sunshine, and lollipops for everyone.

These unemployed ladies sure are glad they joined Bono's "Make Dyslexia History" campaign.

These unemployed ladies sure are glad they joined Bono's "Make Dyslexia History" campaign.

Joining up with one of Bono’s many charities will allow you, the unemployed, to join a cause that you truly believe in as well as do some good in your otherwise meaningless existence.  Sure, you can join the trendy One campaign or help stop the spread of AIDS, but all of these are already flooded with motivated employed people who like to “do a little good on the weekends” (you might also know these people as “douchebags”).  Plus, Africa charities are so 2005.

Luckily, Bono has a little something for everybody.  You can help Bono Fight Homelessness in Wealthy Suburbs, or work to End Hunger in the Obese Population.  If working with animals is more your style than you can volunteer your time to work with the team that is going to put an End to Dog Allergies.

For all these boutique crusades, the unemployed are surely at an advantage as they devote their time to many unique and worthy causes such as the Fight for Needle Sterilization for Heroin Addicts or the Bring Mr. Belvedere Back to Syndication campaign (there is a wait list for that one).

Whatever noble cause you choose, there is a lot that is unjust and not right in this world.  Bono knows it, he needs your help, and won’t shut the hell up until he gets it.

If you do a good job, maybe you’ll even get to go up on stage and slow dance with him.



  1. yes! i want to slow dance with bono!

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