Posted by: jspiegel | April 6, 2009

#1: Job Searching

This necessary task, is also the kryptonite to all the good times that can be had while jobless.  It is a grueling and arduous fun vacuum that the United States government requires the unemployed to get sucked into.

Fortunately, this is not your parent’s job search process.  No longer are unemployed required to sit with a ball-point pen thumbing through the wanted ads of the now defunct and irrelevant information medium known as “newspapers”.  Thanks to computers and the information super highway, feigning effort to stay one step ahead of the Man has never been easier, or has offered such instantaneous gratification.

This ancient lithotype was once called a newspaper.  People used to have to wait 24 hours for a new edition to come out!

This ancient lithotype was once called a newspaper. People used to have to wait 24 hours for a new edition to come out!

Here are some helpful tools to help the unemployed maximize their daily five minute regime:

*Job Search Engines – These resources are the pinnacle of accuracy.  Where else can someone enter in all of their qualifications as a software engineer and expeditiously receive job openings for selling life insurance?  Technology truly is magical.

*Staffing Firms – The human side of the job search process.  Since these agencies have such a difficult selection process for their recruiters, one knows that when they get contacted, it is the creme-De-la-creme of the staffing world.  Furthermore, these altruistic go-getters earn a competitive salary and have no commission incentives and thus, they have nothing but the unemployed’s interests at heart.  When this call comes, and it will, listen closely to their sagacious advice and recommendations.  An opportunity like this might not come along for another two or three hours.

Don't let these hip youngsters fool you with their thumbs up and razzle-dazzle.  They have been hand-picked to help you get your dream job.

Don't let these hip youngsters fool you with their thumbs up and razzle-dazzle. They're not all about the benjamins. They're all about YOU!

*Resume Builders – Many of the above mentioned search engines contain this easy to use and always flawless application.  Simply type in the pertinent information, job description, and list of skills and soon enough there will be  an impeccable looking resume that always formats perfectly once uploaded.  If the unemployed individual has a  MAC and is worried about compatibility,  they shouldn’t be.  Since when has anyone ever had issues with file conversion?

*Networking – Some people will say this is an ongoing activity but never before has it been so important to place a contemporary designation on the simple act of talking to people you know.  It is an art and one that requires a lot of practice and fine-tuning, but having the ability to “network” will really open up your job search.  All an unemployed person needs to do is send their resume to people they “network” with, and the dream job that requires ten years of experience when they only have five will miraculously open up.

Ned in IT may not be a socialite, but since you did him a solid, he's in your "network".  The opportunities are now limitless.

Ned in IT may not be a socialite, but since you did him a solid, he's in your "network". The opportunities are now limitless.

This information is a lot to digest, and in no way should all of these resources be utilized in one sitting.  Rather, use these outlets thoughfully and carefully to help meet the minimum requirements that demanded by the unemployed’s state of residence.  It is only by this reluctant participation can one continue to receive a check made out by Uncle Sam that grants another week of freeloading awesomeness.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: